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jokes from lady chicken singing telegrams
Chicken Jokes:

Q: Why did the Roman chicken cross? A: She was afraid someone would caesar!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road halfway? A: She wanted to lay it on the line.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To prove to the possum it could actually be done!

Q: How did the wealthy rubber chicken cross the road? A: In her Cadillac stretch limo.

Q: Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? A: She wanted to stretch her legs.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice? A: Because it was a double-crosser.

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: To prove he wasn't chicken!

Q. How does a chicken tell time? A. One o'cluck, two o'cluck, three o'cluck...

Q: Why did the chicken go to KFC? A: He wanted to see a chicken strip.

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: To cockadoodle dooo something!

Q: Which day of the week do chickens hate most? A: Fry-day!

Q: What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg? A: It eggs-plodes!

chicken jokes

Q: Why did the piece of gum cross the road? A: Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Q: Why did the chick disappoint his mother? A: He wasn't what he was cracked up to be!

Q: What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy? A: "You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours!"

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again? A: Because he was a dirty double-crosser!

Q: What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken? A: She kicked the bucket!

Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? A: A brick layer!

Q: What do you call a crazy chicken? A: A cuckoo cluck!

Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road? A: Because it was stuck to chickens bum.

Q: What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way? A: She was tickled to death!

Q: Why don't chickens like people? A: They beat eggs!

Q: Why did the rooster run away? A: He was chicken!

Q: What do chickens grow on? A: Eggplants!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? A: He heard the referee calling fowls

Q: Why is it easy for chicks to talk? A: Because talk is cheep!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck? A: A bird that lays down!

Q: What happens when a hen eats gunpowder? A: She lays hand gren-eggs!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the "net"? A: It wanted to get to the other site!

Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!

Q: What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon? A: They go on peck-nics!

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover? A: The Cluck o'the Irish!

Q: What do chickens serve at birthday parties? A: Coop-cakes!

Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? A: An eggroll!

Q: How do chickens bake a cake? A: From scratch!

Q: What bird is always sad? A: The blue jay

Q: What did the sick chicken say? A: "I have the people-pox!"

Q: How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend? A: In a HEN-velope!

Q: What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg? A: The bombshell!

Q: What does an alarm cluck say? A: "Tick-tock-a-doodle-doo!"

Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors? A: Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!

Q: Why did the t-rex cross the road? A: Because the chicken hadn't evolved yet



*I hope one day chickens will be able to cross the road without being judged on their motives.

A farmer with lots of chickens posted the following sign: "Free Chickens. Our Coop Runneth Over."



The Library

One day the Library was lonely with no one in it for the librarian to help. These two chickens came through the door screeching "bouk bouk." The librarian quickly got up and gave them each 5 books. The two chickens left satisfied. Just a few minutes later the same two chickens come through the door with no books screeching "bouk bouk." The librarian once again jumps up and gives each chicken 15 books this time. The chickens leave satisfied once again. Then again for the third time the chicken return screeching "bouk bouk" But this rime being suspicious the librarian gives each chicken only one book because they have still have not returned the other books. As the chickens leave the librarian slowly follows behind to see where all the books are going. The chickens come to a stop and start throwing the books into a pond where some frogs grab the books and throw them behind their back croaking "red-it red-it"

Egg Jokes:

What does a mixed-up hen lay? (Scrambled eggs!)

What does an evil hen lay? (Deviled eggs!)

Where do tough chickens come from? (Hard-boiled eggs!)

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? (An eggroll!)

A rooster laid an egg on a barn roof. Which way would it roll? (Roosters don't lay eggs, hens do!)

Why do hens lay eggs? (If they dropped them, they'd break!)

Did you hear the joke about the broken egg? (Yes, it cracked me up!)

Where do you get frogs' eggs? (At the spawn shop!)

Silly girl: Why does your son say, "Cluck, cluck, cluck"?
Mrs. Poulet: Because he thinks he's a chicken.
Silly girl: Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?
Mrs. Poulet: Because we need the eggs.
 
Performing in Costume since 2002. Phone Hours: {central time} Monday - Friday 9am-5pm.
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